Normally, I am bad at telling people my feelings. I am the kind of person who kicks herself after a fight when I finally realize what I was really trying to say. I also am aware how truly ironic this sounds coming from someone who posts her feelings on the internet on a somewhat weekly basis- my apologies. But it is a lot for my to write my feelings then say them.
Ever since I was little I would always write my mom or dad little letters thanking them or saying I’m sorry because I just couldn’t say it to their face, and if I did it just wouldn’t sound like I really meant it. It sounds stupid and I guess I should have realized then that I sort of had a problem.
It doesn’t take much to realize that I have a lot of feelings. At the end of the day I am always going to be sensitive. As I’ve matured I found ways to bite my tongue and stay positive but still sometimes the truth hurts. I’ve been called names before and treated terribly but nothing compares to when someone tells you the truth about yourself. That is when your true colors come out because we know the person who told us the truth is right.
When someone tells me the truth about myself I just can’t handle it. I don’t know if I’ve always been this way or if it is something new but all of the sudden it just kind of scares me. I just run away- literally I go to my room and won’t face the littlest issue in my life. I don’t really know why the truth scares me because it should be easier to know that something is a problem- but still its scary.
I think that it is important to come to terms with the way you feel and the way that topics affect you. Clearly I have some problems to work out- but so does everyone. Wellness is more than just feeling good about yourself- its about understanding. There is no way that I could even look at myself in a mirror if I didn’t understand everything that is underneath my skin- good or bad. That is when I was ready to make a big change in my life- when i finally lifted my cloud of self doubt and worries and understood why I couldn’t make a change earlier.
We are never truly going to 100% change the way that certain topics effect us; old habits die hard. We just have to understand and find ways to make it easier. Somehow, between watching old episodes of 30 Rock, crying over Modern Family, and reading about One Direction (another secret that I swore I wouldn’t share to you all, but since we are in the mood I decided to just go all in) I understood what I needed to change in my life to make me successful.This change isn’t something drastic- all it really takes is staying seated and count to ten before talking back but I am sure its going to make a tremendous difference in my life.
So, if you haven’t said it lately thank everyone who tells you the truth because as hard as it is to hear it, it is ten times harder to say it. And as Zayn always says “Just close your eyes and enjoy the roller coaster that is life” I would also like to add- open your eyes to make sure you don’t run into trees or human beings.
If you are at all interested at anything I have to say make sure to follow my personal instagram: @gracekenney my health/wellness instagram: @blissful_wellness and my twitter @graceAkenney to be updated on my sarcastic and sometimes embarrassing life.