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We

I recently came across this idea that everyone cherishes our differences from one another. When you first meet someone rather than looking at the similarities between you too we see the differences. We tend to exaggerate our differences by minimizing our similarities. “If you are like most people, then like most people, you don’t know if you’re like most peole” – Daniel Gilbert a study shown in the book: “The Art of happiness in a Troubled World.”

In this book the authors, the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, explore the concept of me vs we. While reading, I kept agreeing with the fact that there is a distinction in the way we view ourselves to other people, but I couldn’t understand why until the Dalai Lama came up with an example. He told Dr. Cutler that in the Tibetan language the word ‘ngatso’ has two definitions: we; many I’s. In the English language we see those two words as two separate ideas, yet for the tibetans they are combined.

The difference between understanding two different cultures is sometimes lost in the translation. Even if you can speak both languages you can’t fully understand what the concept is. It’s not me or we. It’s me and we. When we change the context of the sentence our inclusiveness is what leads us to seeing the similarity more clearly rather than the difference.

We are always told to try to take the words I and me out of our vocabulary when we first meet someone because we never want to talk about ourselves, we should ask questions. What I realized after reading this chapter is that people act differently when they first meet someone.

We strive to find that one single piece of information that connects our lives together. Through a mutual friend, place of vacation, love for a certain genre of music, and so on. Once we find this one similarity however, we try to make ourselves feel superior by maximizing our experiences.

As I have said before, this concept is simple but not easy. But it is important to understand why our minds work this way. We don’t always have to be the superior person in the circumstance, we can just be mutuals. Maybe, by using this technique we can find the happiness in our troubled, troubled world.

G xx

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Connection

There’s something inside each of us that sparks indescribable feelings. This is a fact. It is different for each person. Sometimes it’s seeing the smile on someone’s face after saving a loved ones life. For others it is the moment of knowing that you aced a test that you studied all year for.

For me it is a lot of things. But a way to incorporate all of my passions into one is experiencing a simple moment of connection between people; one-on-one or to thousands of people all over the world.

I haven’t mastered the skill of sharing my feelings while in conversation. I just have so much to tell people. That is why I like to write and I like to sing because there is always a way to connect with someone without really saying anything- just looking into their eyes.

While I was watching a Coldplay Concert Movie Chris Martin said “and we look at each other and its like a great feeling that you might never look at that person in the eyes ever again so you have a little connection. It’s like every time you look at someone in the eyes you put a little thread between you so you can really connect and you have to approach everything with the freshness that they bring to it so by the time you finish you get a spider web of connections rather than a detachment which is what I used to sometimes feel.”

While hearing Chris talk about this experience I began to understand what he meant by this. We talk about connection and meaning. We think that we have to pour our heart and soul out and be in this vulnerable state where anything we say can break us yet expand us. I just now realized that all you have to do is be open, and look into someones eyes to see the truth.

Again today, I was reminded how much the human touch can affect someone. During a panic attack the best thing to do is to have someone hug you. In the beginning you fight it and try to push off but as the person continues to add pressure on your body you begin to breathe easier.

These simple forms of communication and connection is what provides us with the courage to move on. It is hard to aimlessly go through life without knowing someone will be there to catch you when you are down. To think that a hug or looking into someones eyes can give them the confidence to continue is something that makes humans unlike any other species.

We don’t need hour long speeches of praise or notes of encouragement to feel the satisfaction or love that is given. All we need to do is connect with someone on a different level, one of respect. As Chris said, “It’s like you can flick a switch of letting go. You can get out of your head and go to your heart.” Lead with your heart and your life will follow.

G xx

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Adventure

The other day I read a buzzfeed article that had a list of 20 something things to do before you go to college. The list entailed the normal summer activities that lurk on but never get completed such as: finish a whole book and finish an arts project (preferably for your dorm room.) On that list was a word that is commonly used but I have yet to fully understand: adventure. So my goal for the summer is simply experience adventure wherever I am.

My close friend Alexa is quite good at this. She will seemingly text me the day of a concert and say lets go for an adventure in New York City and end up at a Two Door Cinema Club cocnert. Just now I realized the two clear difference between those who have strong desires to experience the world and those who actually experience adventure is the willingness and freeness to do so.

As I have talked about before and will continue to touch upon confidence is the one key that opens any and every door. As I search for the true meaning of happiness, wellness, confidence, and simple joys in life I have continued to find that confidence is the one factor that everyone is missing. How are you expected to go somewhere you have never been if you don’t have the courage to walk into the unknown. I haven’t been one to make a bucket list but now I realize that I should. It doesn’t have to be extravagant and cost money but it should be different.

Adventure is exciting, new, and fun. Finding people like Alexa who will enjoy those moments with me is just as important as enjoying those moments by myself. I don’t have to make new friends, get new clothes, or do something totally insane. I just have to BE MYSELF and trust that the path will lead to new awareness.

SO, Have a theme party with friends. Drive aimlessly until you find something fun to do. Blast music and sing with your hair blowing in the wind. Take funny pictures. Go to a theme part. Surf a huge wave. Try a new yoga pose.More than anything: enjoy everything that life offers. Be adventurous, be daring, and make memories that you will never forget.

G xx

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Sorry Not Sorry

Today I saw a video that is called “Not Sorry” part of Pantene’s Shine Strong Campaign. It shows woman apologizing for simple tasks they do daily. For example: opening the door for someone you say “sorry” even though your holding the door. If someone sits down next to you, immediately the response is “sorry”. Until you sit back and look back, you don’t realize how much you say sorry on a daily basis.

These clips of videos are inspiring. I believe that everyone should draw attention to this problem: not just women. Confidence says a lot about a person. It draws you into their life and their story. Everyone is most beautiful with their head held high and a smile on their face.

With social media and common ideas floating around on the internet it is common to have a preconceived notion about an idea that really you don’t believe in. That is why you should question everything you are told. Don’t let someone tell you that you can’t do that. More importantly allow yourself to thrive. Even if its something that you hear on the news; don’t let someone else’s ideas cloud your judgement.

Be the reason that people stop and think. Make yourself known. It doesn’t have to be in a big way that make you the center of attention. Enjoy yourself and your life. Stop saying sorry and start being confident.

G xx

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Take Time to Realize

I get really excited when I start a new episode of Grey’s Anatomy because of the inspirational talks that Meredith gives at the beginning and end of each episode. I think I’ve learned more about myself and about life while watching  all 225 episodes than I did at school. (Sorry Mom) I think that everyone craves the truth and well drama as well.

If you think about the countless hours that we spend watching tv, movies, reading books, writing, etc. it all correlates to one simple theory-one that we pay no attention to. At the end of the day, we can’t stand being ourselves anymore and we have to go live in a different world, even if its just for 42 minutes.

I find it so interesting that we can  not handle being ourselves sometimes. When we are bored, upset, distraught, or even happy we want to forget about our own problems and worry about Serena Van Der Woodsen’s life. We are all guilty of this, even me.

While looking into this queer phenomenon I couldn’t help but think what it would be like if we didn’t have these distractions. If we spent a whole day being just ourselves rather than being someone else for a little while. Then I realized, we have to have a break in all areas in our lives even with ourselves.

Why do we sleep? Why do we have to stop running if we feel sick to our stomach? Why can’t we drive for 48 hours straight? Because we  need a break. We need balance, and most of all- we need to breathe. Sit back, relax and let our brains take it in.

By giving yourself time to be someone else we are becoming better versions of ourselves. We are allowing our bodies to file away all the events that took part so far in the day. Because even when you are sitting in bed listening to Meredith Grey give you love advice: take it. Be her and live in the story.

As the days grow longer and the nights get warmer just remember to be happy, relax, and let yourself be. Because “knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the greatest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of not trying”

G xx

 

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How To Be the Real You.

Watch this video:

http://blog.petflow.com/this-is-a-video-everyone-needs-to-see-for-the-first-time-in-my-life-im-speechless/

It’s funny that I happened to stumble upon this video today because I was just thinking about this topic. Social Media. It is something that everyone has and everyone craves. The immediate satisfaction and understanding between two people, or more if you choose.

For me, social media is an important aspect to my life. I have learned through social media different tools that help me throughout my daily life. If any of you follow me on Instagram or twitter you know that I do not really care what anyone thinks about me and generally I do not follow many social “rules”.

Sometimes, however, I get so obsessed with seeing how many likes my picture has received or how many people followed me today that I forget to live my life. I came to the realization just over a year ago about how much of my life revolves around technology. To be honest, it is scary!

Being a teenager is hard. You are constantly being judged in every aspect of your life. We forget to just be ourselves. In a world where everything is so immediate, we loose the intimate feel. The most important piece of advice someone gave me when I was struggling with self-image is that no one is really judging you. No one cares how many people text you or how many followers you have- thats irrelevant. Just be yourself and enjoy your life- that is when people really start to look into you. If you are sitting on your phone then people will walk right past you without a second glance.

Be interesting. Be authentic. Be unique. Be you.

G xx

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#31DaysofBeingYou

Everyday, whether we want to admit it or not, we struggle with self-love. We often forget to to be ourselves because we are worried about what other people think about us. Before we know it, we don’t recognize ourselves anymore. Sadly, this is normal for high school students. When did it become un-cool to be yourself?

Authenticity is best described as the quality of being authentic. But what does that really mean? My definition for authenticity is the true being of oneself without caring what others think.

The month of May is crazy! It is the last month of school. The sun is beginning to shine after its hibernation, and slowly the layers of winter jackets are slowly peeling off. My challenge for you is to find what makes you unique each and everyday this month. If you can find something fun and authentic each day this month, you will be surprised how much happier you will be.

Now, I invite you to join me on my instagram page: @blissful_wellness and post using #31daysofbeingyou showing me what you think makes you authentic.

You are all beautiful. You are all different. You are all unique. It is hard to remember that sometimes when you are constantly comparing yourself to everyone around you. Be your unique self, because there is no one like you!

G xx